Cheshire Cat's Grin

Adventures in Apartment Hunting

This is a reproduction of the first blog I did. It was originally posted on Facebook.

November 6, 2012 - Adventures in Apartment Hunting, Part 1

I called about a cute little house in Murray Hill that’s in our price range and started asking questions about it.

Landlady: Sometimes when it rains we get standing water in the yard.

Me: Really?

Landlady: We furnished it, because tenants were complaining about their furniture getting ruined.

Me: Their furniture?

Landlady: Yes, when Debbie came through we had about a foot of standing water in the house — but it goes down quickly, and the city did some drainage work on the street after that…

Me: OMG!

Landlady: Don’t worry, we’re more than happy to help you put the furniture up on bricks if a big storm is coming.

Me: Oh, so THAT’s why it’s in our price range!

November 7, 2012 - Adventures in Apartment Hunting, Part 2

We went to look at an upstairs apartment on Oak St. in Avondale. It had 1,000 sf, spacious rooms, and a washer and dryer. However, the kitchen was filthy. I’m talking roach feces in the pantry and cabinets, crusty stove/oven, gross fridge.

Landlord: I can have this whole thing cleaned and painted for you in 3 days.

Me: /to myself/ You’ve had this on the m

arket for several months and already dropped the price. Why isn’t it already clean? STRIKE ONE.

Landlord: The washer and dryer belong to my sister, so if they break you’re on your own.

Me: /to myself/ And what if your sister wants them back? STRIKE TWO.

Landlord: I’ll be happy to take it off the market and start getting it ready for you if you give me a $500 non-refundable deposit.

Me: Excuse me, you said “non-refundable”? And the lease says you only have to give me 15 days’ notice to get out?

Landlord: That’s right.

Charlie and Me: STRIKE THREE. You’re OUT!

November 7, 2012 - Adventures in Apartment Hunting, Part 3

As we pulled up into the driveway of a triplex on Post near 5 Points, I was exclaiming, “Yay! It’s the PURPLE house!!!!”

It only got better from there. Spacious, high ceilings, lots of natural light, in our price range, professional leasing agent, no sign of roach infestation. She was hugging us and saying, “Welcome back to the neighborhood,” by the time we left.

We’re meeting her with our completed application first thing in the morning. There may be some competition for this one, but we’re the first applicants.

Please, everyone, visualize or pray or om or light a candle or whatever you do so we get to live in the purple house. ♥

November 8, 2012 -

OK, the application for our place at the purple triplex is in. Now we wait for approval — on pins and needles.
<Closing eyes and visualizing signing the lease tomorrow or Saturday with a Sunday move-in.>

November 9, 2012 -  Adventures in Apartment Hunting, Part 4

The Good: We’re approved with Traditions which has a lot of apartment listings in the historic districts.

The Bad: The landlady would rather rent to W-2 employees because an independent contractor once ran out on his lease with her.

The Beautiful: The listing agent says any other landlord in town would rent to us. We have a squeaky clean background check, perfect credit, an excellent reference from our well-connected previous landlord, and employment/income sources are verified.

The Ugly: Ugh. I feel so gross and dirty and exposed on so many levels. We’re in a time pressure situation. We supplied extensive financial information to satisfy what felt like a federal investigation, only to be rejected by our first choice.

What’s Next: The listing agent is showing us another place tomorrow morning at 8:30.

We’re beginning to think we might find a better deal in Springfield. Back to surfing craigslist apartment ads. Stay tuned…

November 10, 2012 - Adventures in Apartment Hunting, Part 5 – The Final Installment

Listing Agent: I was so relieved when your background check came back clean. I had Googled you and found out there’s another Amy Copeland in Jacksonville with an arrest record for public nudity.

Charlie: Amy, is there something you want to tell me about?

Me: I’m not saying whether or not I’ve ever been nude in public, but I certainly haven’t been arrested for it! This is why I use my middle name, so you’ll know I’m not THAT Amy Copeland.

We liked the place we saw this morning on Herschel, only 3.5 blocks from our old apartment that we left in April. Tomorrow is moving day. Look out, Riverside Rats, we’re back!

One thought on “Adventures in Apartment Hunting

  1. Bernice

    Never a dull moment in the life of Amy. You always have such interesting interactions with your fellow humans. Isnt it amazing how very few of us seem actually normal? haha.

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