Cheshire Cat's Grin

Online Dating

plug and socketA few weeks ago at the salon, my hair stylist, Traci, introduced me to her friend and client, Christy, who was entertaining the staff with a real-time online dating adventure.

A savvy lady, Christy had already, a few weeks before, fended off the overtures of a financially secure Nigerian who found himself in the desperate situation of being unable to access his funds when his daughter needed an operation. “She has an appendix in her stomach, and the doctors here won’t operate unless I pay them first,” he told her.

But she decided to have a little fun with her latest suitor before dispatching him, and we all had ringside seats.

Christy had met him on Match.com a couple of days before. He told her he was from Jacksonville, but was currently in California, in the process of buying a home there. They had recently escalated their conversations to texting. When I arrived at  the salon he was trying to arrange a date with Christy as she read each text message to us.

Christy: Not that looks are all that important to me, but what do you look like?

FMorello1963: I look like the man of your dreams.

C: I was really looking for someone in Jacksonville. I don’t know if we should start a relationship if you’re moving.

FM: I’ll be visiting often. And if things work out, you can move to California with me. I’m so eager to meet you. I want to come to Jacksonville for a date.

C: OK, when?

FM: Problem is, all my money is tied up in the home purchase. In a couple of weeks, all that will be cleared up. Could you spot me the cash to buy a plane ticket to Jacksonville?

C: Oh, well maybe we shouldn’t be in such a rush. After all, if you’re moving you’ll have to come back to Jacksonville to get your stuff. We could meet then.

FM: Yeah, but it’ll be a long time before I can get away to take care of that. C’mon, I really want to meet you. Promise I’ll reimburse you.

C: Hey, I know what we can do. I just remembered I’ve got lots of frequent flier miles. I can get you a ticket with my air miles.

FM: ???????????

online dating meme

A) He’s married. B) He’s a stalker. C) He used a picture from 1997. D) He lives with his Mom and eats kittens.

Christy did not respond immediately. After a long pause….

FM: It wasn’t really my idea of how this would go so I’m not sure I want to do that.

C: Why spend your money when you can fly here for free?

FM: Money is not the problem.

C: Aw, I was hoping you could use the money you’d save for a really nice date when you get here. You know, something fancy.

FM: But I don’t see why we can’t just pay for the tickets together like I suggested?

Christy had had enough of this moron. He still had no idea that she was toying with him.

C: I’m on to your scam.

FM: Scam? How dare you! I am NOT a scammer. Get that into your stupid block and your unsultive brain!

Yes, that last sentence was a direct quote.

C: It’s over. Don’t text me again.

It only got uglier after that. We all marveled at how much time FMorello1963 was willing to waste before moving on to the next potential victim.

Lest you think this pitfall should be a deterrent to online dating, I don’t necessarily discourage it. After all, I met my husband, Charlie, on Match.com. But there are specific techniques you can use to vet your suitors, and they worked well for me in my case. That’s a topic for another blog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Online Dating

  1. Jenn

    Wow – I’ve never run into that one before! I did have someone on OKCupid see that I was a chemist and ask if I would make him some drugs. “At least I’m not looking for sex, right?” he said – as if it somehow made it better that he wasn’t actually interested in me!

  2. Charles Beyer

    Yep, happens probably at least as often with men. Back in 2002, thought I was going to get a cute 21 year old Filipino girl to come visit Florida. Needed money to fly here, but wouldn’t accept tickets, just $$. I had to flip the bird to the Filipino whoever it was. Okay, I was 40, but you get lonely as a bachelor, we all dream about what we’d like, the predators out there like dreamers.
    :-)

  3. Amy Cherie Copeland Post author

    Good stories, Jenn and Charlie. Goes to show you, the lonely people market is vast and practically limitless. Legit dating sites exploit this, as do the con artists who frequent the sites.

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